With a thankful heart….

Yesterday i spent several hours in my comfy couch chair by the fireplace reading intently the last several pages of a great book. It is entitled “The Glass Castle: A memoir”by Jeannette Walls.

The book was a collection of stories/memories from her childhood to present day. It was touching, heart wrenching, and disgusting all bound in one book. Jeannette tells all kinds of stories of her hardship growing up a daughter to an alcholic father, and an artist free-spirit mother. Her parents moved her around a lot, living in the desert in a shack , living in a cardboard box, living in a tiny house they bought without indoor plumbing heat or electricity in West Virginia……the things she went through are crazy.

I really enjoy reading things like this because they help me once again re-focus and put my life into perspective. I am so blessed. I am thankful for what i have and where i’ve come from. I wasn’t abused as a child. I lived comfortably. I was loved. That is so important. But, i also don’t feel that i’m better then anyone who grew up differently then i did. We are put where we are for a reason, and we deal with things in our life for a reason. I believe that what we go through shapes who we are, and we have choices in that along the way as well. What is so cool about the book, is that Jeannette loved her parents, and harbored no obvious bitterness toward them, and spoke of them highly. It is very suprising in some ways, if you read some of the things they exposed her to or did to her. But, i find that refreshing. It’s like she embraced her life, loved who was in her life, and tried to rise above. That is such a rewarding story to hear. I think those stories can be few and far between. I know i’d like to read more of them.

I tend to complain a lot. I seem to get focused on myself, and my weaknesses, my shortcomings, my aches and pains. I really want to reach out and grab life and love those around me and not bring people down. It’s so hard to battle my flesh…to cast off my selfish-self, and try to think clear and make good decisions. My mind automatically wants what is most comfortable for me. It’s sickening really. I want to be selfless and loving and think about others first, and not myself. This verse keeps on sticking out in my mind:

“For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

Romans 7:19

also this: 

“So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands.”

Romans 7:21

But thank God for this:

“With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:13-18

Selah~meditate on that last chunk of verses. That 2 Corinthians scripture is intense!

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2 thoughts on “With a thankful heart….

  1. Geneva,
    I have just read all your blogs and I cried and laughed. I loved reading what you wrote. Your writing is witty and sensitve and full of wisdom . I am so proud of you.
    XOMom

  2. I’m really glad you’re reading more books. Thank you for writing your thoughts in this blog, its nice to know you more through it! love you -Jess

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