Well, I went through with it. I stood up to my fear. God has done a lot of healing inside of me the past 3+ years. So, it took some change and some guts but Jamey and I made the decision to try and see if it would happen. Now, I am pregnant again. I am 12 weeks today, and here is what has been going on so far…..
I started feeling nauseated pretty much right after finding out. (I was probably around 5 weeks). It wasn’t constant, it came and went mainly when i had an empty stomach. So, eating helped a lot. I was hopeful. I felt pretty good.
Around 6 1/2 weeks the major nausea began. It scared me. I had been trying to eat no carbs and little sugar (from fruit) but that quickly went out the window as my body started wanting bread. PRETZELS. Anything dry or bland. I chose to do gluten free toast and some gluten free pretzels as a temporary aid to myself. It did help. I also decided to start anti nausea medication immediately. The nausea had become so strong that it felt like i was going to go down to that dark place fast. So i started my regimen from my last pregnancy. Unisom + B6 at night, and Zofran during the day. (Anti nausea/vomiting meds).
I have been on those medications since. I am getting by, “hanging in there”. Some days are better then others. I am on the couch a lot. I am “out of touch” with the world a lot I feel like. But, hey, I am not getting stuck with IV’s at this point, and I haven’t been to the hospital. That is a big difference from the last time around. I’m praying and hoping that this sick part will pass soon. Please pray with me for this. I really want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy like I did the last few months of my first pregnancy. I want a longer time to enjoy this one!
I have bad days. Today was one. I get so tired of the fight. I get tired of feeling so sick and tired. I’m sure that’s a normal feeling. It’s tough. I am pushing through it. I allowed myself to feel it, and then I reminded myself: I am not dying. I do not have cancer. I did not just lose a child. I am not trying to get pregnant for the thousandth time with no success. I am not in the midst of chaos, or tragedy. I am alive.
Even in the face of the issues i’m tackling that to me, are very difficult and very real—that truth is buried deep inside and I’m glad that it surfaced when I needed to be reminded. When I was pregnant with Pursey, nothing shook the darkness off. Nothing seemed to be able to.
So, for now, until the nausea/vomiting lets up—I will “Praise Him in this storm”. For all I have. For the blessing I’m carrying inside me. This won’t last forever, and I can do it. Even when some days I feel like I can’t!
Thanks for reading,
Geneva
Memoirs and Musings 
You inspire me! And you are right…there are others with more difficult crosses to bear so we need to praise Him for our trials because there by the grace of God go I…
Yes, Geneva you can do it. You are a fighter. Even if you don’t feel like you are. Your pretty tough. I am so proud of you. I so wish you could enjoy every moment of your pregnancy. But you will for now get by, knowing that the suffering is all worth it in the end. And we are all thankful that it is not quite as bad as your pregnancy with Purslane. You are in my prayers every single day. God will give you just what you need to get through the hard part.
Until then, keep thinking about new baby feet to look at!!!!! Mwah! XO
Congratulations!
Geneva, I’m so happy for you guys and so glad to hear that this time around has been better! Craving ANYTHING is a good thing! It sounds like you are dealing with pretty normal levels of sickness for now, so I pray that in a couple of weeks you’ll start feeling better (it took until 14-16 weeks for me with normal nausea). Keep thinking of all the positives things already happening this time around and the joy you’ll feel bringing that baby into the world. And, really, if you can go through natural childbirth, you can do ANYTHING. Remember that, because that is proof of your strength, or at least the strength that God will give you.
I do not know what you went through with your previous pregnancy, but I feel the same as you that sometimes it is so tiring fighting this nauseous state that plagues 1st Trimester. I hope this pregnancy is better for you and will pray alongside you as you praise Him in this storm.
Congratulations on facing your fears – I know exactly what you mean. Getting a positive test after having experienced an HG pregnancy is an adventure in pure, unadulterated fear. Even though I love pregnancy and babies, I pretty much go into panic-mode whenever I think I might be pregnant. GOOD FOR YOU for pushing through the fear, and for doing so well through the first trimester. You are amazing!
Thanks Diana! I know you understand! It’s God’s love that has spurred me onward. He really opened me up to even desiring to try to make it through another pregnancy. And, He is taking care of me. Peace to you!